Divorce, Remarriage, and Aging Families

This day and age we have witnessed a strange revolution of family structures and family life. A child is now more likely to grow up in a single parent family or a stepfamily, an adult is in the habit of cohabitation, marriage, divorce, and then remarriage and most mothers are now in the paid labor force. Children today are being forced to merge with other families, and most times it adds contention and frustration. It makes both families struggle.
The divorce rate has skyrocketed since young males and females have had premarital sex. This is why our beloved Prophet and Apostles come up with the Family Proclamation. They made this just for our safety.
We should be willing to spend time with our families as much as possible to ensure that they are important and to strengthen our relationship with them, especially when families are forced to be merged.
In class my professor showed us a cute music video by Brad Paisley called "He didn't have to be" it is perfect for this topic so if you want please check it out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjO1F6oCab8

It is very important to remember that marriages are not perfect and sometimes we think other wise, it is easy to be caught up in the negatives, but we need to always act upon the promptings of the Lord to always love our spouse and treat them well, even when times get hard. A talk called Falling Out of Love and Climbing back in, is about a women who had fallen out of love with her husband and did not now what to do, she said that they would always leave the house in bad arguments or she would always end up crying herself to sleep. She decided that she had two options she could either stay and be miserable or get a divorce. So she got down on her knees and pleaded to god to help her understand what she would do. As she was trying to fall back in love with her husband she said "The key to fixing my marriage was to learn to see my husband as the Savior saw him." I think this is how we need to see our spouses and loved ones. It is hard to love everyone always, but the Lord is on our side and wants us to succeed.

Parenting

Let me ask you a simple question, what is the purpose of parenting? Brother Williams our teacher asked us this very question in class. Each student had unique responses, for example one student said, to teach our children right from wrong, or to develop parenting attributes. These are all great answers and I was very pleased to hear what other classmates had to say.

A man by the name of Michael Popkins said "The purpose of parenting is to protect and prepare a child to survive and thrive in a world they will live in" I think this is a great quote to talk about, he says to teach children not only to survive but also to thrive. That is very impressive to me, in the Family Proclamation it also states "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love one and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live." Children have needs and that is what we need to do as parent. The proclamation is a wonderful source of guidance when children come into the picture. 

Michael Popkins then gives us 5 basic qualities we can do to meet our childrens needs:

1.  Courge
2. Self- Esteem 
3. Responsibility 
4. Cooperation 
5. Respect  

These qualities are very important when we are trying to teach our children from right and wrong. As we teach out children this essential characteristics, we need to develop them ourselves first so that we can teach by example. I strongly believe that we are each given the opportunity to eventually have children. I am so grateful for the power of procreation and chance we get to receive such wonderful gifts from heaven. 

Women Can be Successful too

I think women are just as important as men, I am not just saying that because I am a women. I am saying that because I honestly think it is true. What would men be without a women by his side.

My mom graduated from BYU with twin girls at the age of 22 in recreation management. She worked very hard to be succeed. Even though she does not use her degree and prefers to stay at home and raise her five kids, she still is learning and growing on how to be a better "stay at home mom." My dad agrees that she is able to stay home and raise the kids while he works. Even though this is very common today and is looked down on. I do not think that raising your children is a bad job, I think it is rewarding. I am willing to go to school and to work as hard as I can for a  decent job,  but if I get the opportunity to stay at home an raise my children I will not pass out on that. Men are just as important and should be treated just as equal. I think that Fathers are fantastic and need to be in children's lives, they should not be absent because this can impact the way they live their lives.

Women are born with the ability to nurture, raising children is a full time job. We live in a crazy world. Why would we not want to shelter them and raise them righteously. If we just hand our children off to day care or a nanny, they might not have the same morals as their parents in the end. Why would we do that?

Communication

Communication within our families is very important it enables us to let our family members express there wants, needs and concerns. With open and honest communication it provides an atmosphere that lets us see how we care and love each other. It is through communication that families can solve problems or be there for each other in times of needs. How well do you communicate?  I think communication is one of the biggest aspects of marriage and family that should be used correctly. There are many different types of ways we humans communicate. Now look around and count how many people are on their phones, I would guess most everyone is. This is the number one way we communicate today. Now while we are on this note I want to tell you the 3 ways of communication. Words, tone, and non-verbal, this are how we communicate effectively.  Now the usage of our phones eliminates two of those types of communication leaving us with just words. The crazy thing is that 14% of how we communicate comes from words which leaves 35% tone and 51% is non-verbal. No wonder why people do not know how to communicate well, because we do not use non verbal and tones when we are glued to our phones. This may or may not cause us to have a hard time communicating with our family members. I want to help out a suggest ways we can communicate well with our family members.  

• Have family counsels
• Be an active listener
• Pay attention to non verbal messages
• Set family goals
• GET OFF YOUR PHONE 
• Be positive

These are ways that could help a family communicate very well. In my own family we have family meetings every night after prayers to say what is planned for the next day. It makes it easier for us to know what we are expected to do that day. It also makes us closer as a family and, it helps us communicate in many different ways. I am very grateful for that. 

Handling Stress Within a Marriage

Every family undergoes stress sometime in their lives, this is way we need to have strong family bonds before a crisis hits. We learned about important qualities to have which include:

• love 
• communication 
• close relationships 
• understanding
• strong bonds
• commitments 
• being supportive 
• willing to serve

This is just a small example of qualities we should have as families. 

I have an example in my life, my freshmen year of high school my little brother got extremely sick and we did not know why. He planned on going to my cousins in Texas but we wanted him to feel better, a few days later he was on the plane to Texas. Later that evening we got a call from my uncle saying that he was so sick and they were on there way to the hospital. We found out that he had pneumonia in his lungs and there was lots of fluid in them and that he needed emergency surgery. It was really scary because we were in Idaho and had no idea what was going to happen to him. My parents jumped on a plane as fast as they could to go comfort him. He was doing better after staying in the hospital for a few days, and then it happened again. He was having trouble breathing and fluid was in his lungs. He had to have another surgery, and this time it was worse. We were so nervous I remember just praying for him to get better. After about 2 weeks in the hospital he was finally released, he could not fly home because it would harm him so he was stuck in Texas for a few weeks. When he finally came home it was the best feeling. We were really happy and excited to see him. We knew that the Lord answered our prayers
It brought us closer as a family because we had those qualities to put in use, and since we were prepared for a crisis it was okay, we got through it.
Families will have a crisis its just a matter of when. We just need to be prepared to have to be willing to let the Lord guide us.

A Beautiful Marriage

This weeks class was very interesting, but enjoyable. Keep reading to listen why!

First off I want to start with a quote by President Henry B. Erying that was in our preparation work for this week, it says:

"Just as Jesus used a child in His mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like Him, He has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as He loves. That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is"
- President Henry B. Eyring
I feel like this is a great way to start off my blog post for this week, we talked about how intimacy is an important aspect of marriage and how fidelity is real and a major issue today this destroys the family. This could often lead to a spouse discussing problems with others and that can cause serious issues like choosing sides. Families are so important and they should always start off within the bonds of marriage. This makes families successful and happy. Also communication is key, you should always have an open relationship. A good example is a couple in my class that decided it was a good idea to join their social media accounts. I think that is a very wise decision. I believe that is helps them have more trust and support in each other.

Marriage should be your safety place, it should be your comfort. This is why our Heavenly Father gave us the blessing to procreate and to raise a family.

Have a great week!

Baby Blues

In class we learned a lot about marriage and how to transition into marriage. I am not married but I have yet to learn. We learned that merging into each others lives gets pretty difficult. So I am going to tell you a few things on how to help merge a family successfully. (in my opinion)

Different backgrounds: We are all different in my ways. We come from all over the world and have different cultures and sometimes it is hard to get married and to be in each others lives constantly. We learn different habits and we continue to do those and so this makes it difficult, especially when children come into your lives. But if we are patient and continue to strive to be our best  in hard situations and cling to the teachings of the gospel it will be easier and we will see blessings.

Time: Spending time with the person you love and care for is very important. It shows that you want to get to know this person. You and your spouse are bond together for time and all eternity.It is important because they need to see that you want their attention. I love when my parents would go out on dates and show my siblings and I that date nights are important and have an impact on marriage and family. 

Finances: This is a big part of marriage because once you get married you and your spouse are all on your own. This is why I think keeping a budget and spending your money wisely while you are younger is very important. I have always been taught to keep a budget and to manage my money as best as I can. I am very thankful for my parents and the efforts they have put in into have a stable home and to support us financially. I want to follow there example.   

Now lets talk about the Baby Blues, this happens when children start to come into the picture, this mostly involves the males. The husbands are used to having there wives attention all the time. When a baby is born it puts a toll on him because now is wife is showing the baby all her attention and he is not used to that. He goes from getting 100% attention to about 50%. My parents were blessed with twins after three years of marriage and my mom was so tired because she was taking care of  2 babies instead of one. My dad would get home from work and would immediately want her attention, but my mom was tired and wanted to get a break, so yes he had the baby blues, but this is normal and I know that the gospel helped them out and I am thankful for that.

Thank you for reading! Have a great week!

Marriage and Dating

This week in class we touched on the lovely subject of marriage, my favorite!!! (note the sarcasm). We talked about how marriage is not just about finding someone to marry because you are bored but finding someone that will make you happy forever. In class our teacher mentioned the three T's of marriage 1. Time 2. Together and 3. Talk. I think these three attributes are very important when it comes to having an eternal marriage. We also talked about the RAM model which stands for Relationship Attachment Model the attributes about this model are know, trust, rely, commit, touch. These 5 different ways of attachment are very important for a healthy relationship.

Did you know that there are four stages from dating to marriage that need to be accomplished? Well if not I am here to inform you. The first is dating, going out getting to know each other and form a bond. The second is courtship the root word is "court" which stands for trial, be willing to show each other your strengths and weaknesses. The third is engagement, make him put a ring on it!! Just kidding when you get engaged it is a time in your life to experiment with each other. Learn how to cook with one another and fall in love. The fourth is marriage, this is most important also get married in the temple to receive those blessings.

We also learned the difference between "hanging out" and going on a date. What do you think that means? Let me explain "hanging out" means going over to each others house and doing homework or watching a movie. BORING!!! Okay do not worry here comes the good part dating has three P's: planned, paired off, and paid for. What are the roles of a husband according to the Family Proclamation? To provide, preside, and protect. Now ladies please tell me this is what you want in a husband because I sure do. Here comes the mind blowing part I am going to make a cool connection with the threes P's of dating....

MEN SHOULD:
provide- paid for
preside-planned
protect- paired off

Pretty awesome if you ask me, the prophets knew that dating is important because it teaches gentlemen as well as ladies how to go out on proper dates which takes a toll on how to serve their purpose and role in this world today.

Thanks for reading have a great week!

Gender Roles/ Same Sex Attraction.

This week in class we touched on gender roles in the Family Proclamation it says, " By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." Men and Women are different in many ways, but the great thing about it is, they complete each other. Marriage between a man and a women is essential to Gods plan. It also states that in The Family Proclamation. Saying that moves me into my next topic we talked about same sex attraction and the impact it has on families today. We were told to watch a short film talking about men that over came same sex attraction. The are many contributing factors as to why men and women feel they are attracted to the same sex. The factors include: Wounded gender identity, bullying, father hunger, mother confusion, inappropriate touch. I truly believe that Heavenly Father did not make people "gay" but I do believe that he gives us trials and that is a trial for some.
Here is the link to the video: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJhyzqdzpnM)

A talk given my Elder Holland in October 2007 called Helping Those Who Struggle with Same- Gender Attraction. He tells a story about a young man who is in his early twenties, confessing to Elder Holland that he is not worthy to be a member if the Church because he is gay, Elder Holland responds with "and" The young man continued with " I am not attracted to women. I am attracted to men. I've tried to ignore those feelings, but why am I this way" President Holland then said, "You see same gender attraction is not a sin, but acting upon those feelings is." This proves that it is OKAY to be attracted to man or women, it is a trial that has to be over come and it won't last for eternities.
Here is the link to the talk: (https://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/10/helping-those-who-struggle-with-same-gender-attraction?lang=eng)

Thank you for reading and have a great week!

Family Strutures

We all have different families, some are more wealthy than others and some are more poor than others. The great thing is that we are all sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father and he sees us as equally human beings. In class this week we learned about social statuses as well as different cultures and their backgrounds. In preparation for class we were asked to watch short clips on YouTube about different social statuses. It amazes me to see how other cultures live their lives, a sweet lady named Tammy, lived in a trailer house with 2 boys that treated her poorly and she worked at Burger King, but get this she does not have a car so she has to walks 10 miles everyday to get to work so she can provide for her family. It really made me grateful for the family I have and how my family can provide and be comfortable with our lives. Here is the link if you would like to watch it:(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37ZpauS5Doo)

We also had to read about illegal immigrants from Mexico, this was about families that were affected by it. Usually the Father of the house would go to the U.S. first and work for a while before he would help his family immigrate. This process usually took on average 3 years, this had a huge impact on the families it created tension between them when they finally reunited. The expenses were also outraging, families would have to come up with lots of money to immigrate to America. In Mexico the hispanics had great jobs they were able to provide for their families, but when they would immigrate to the U.S. companies knew they were not citizens so they did not receive the best jobs. Most of the fathers would work in the fields and get paid very minimal again causing it hard to help their families in Mexico.

You might ask why did they do this to themselves, if they were content why would they make their lives harder. The main reason why they did this was because they thought it would help there children have better lives and a better future. What are your thoughts, do you think Hispanics are making the right choices? Do you think it is worth the pain and suffering?

I am from a small town in Idaho where most of the people there are hispanic, they do not have much. Most of them work in the fields or on a ranch to provide for there families. They usually are not very wealthy and live in little homes just to get by, so I have seen it my personal life how it has affected these families. Learning about this makes me want to do the best I can to provide for my family.

Thanks for reading have a great week!

Family Rules

In class this week we discussed family rules and why they are important. I think most of us grew up with family rules and many things we were expected to do. Rules are ways to keep us safe, from temptations, accidents and just our everyday living. In my house we had many rules to abide by, taking off your shoes, cleaning up your dishes, these were just a few of the many rules we had.

I am very thankful for a mom like mine who taught me the importance of rules, I am grateful for the rules I had to follow because now most of those rules are habits. We grow up and leave the nest expecting to have rules but we really do not. The rules are up to us now and it is our free agency to live by them. Most of us our smart and know what we need to do to live a happy life. Hopefully most of us are all doing great at following rules.

Thanks for reading hope you have a great week!!

Hello everyone! In my Family Relations class this week we mainly touched on the subject of having kids and how birth rates, fertility rates and population are declining, but many years ago we never saw this coming. In 1968 we had what was called "The Baby Boom." Many women were having children and all at the same time.  A man named Paul Ehrlich calmed that in the the 70's there would be no room or food in the world and everyone would starve to death. But this century is completely different. Today we have roughly 7 billion people on this earth, you might ask why are birth and fertility rates going down as well as the population well, let me answer that.

Today people often delay their marriage which, therefore causes a delay in having children. We see a lot of single moms that have one or two children and have only enough money to support them. We also often see divorce which puts a stop to having children for a period of time. Others are scared to bring a perfect human into such an imperfect world.

I feel like it is my responsibility to have and bring spirits from heaven into this world and to teach and guide them to do what is right. "We declare that God's commandments for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force." As stated in The Family Proclamation. 
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you have a great week!